“Every child is special”, I wonder, how much of this phrase is true and holds applicability in our day-to-day life.
Birth of a boy is considered as a moment of pride in Indian society, but why do I feel as if being under suspicion and scrutiny of every eyes. It appears as if I deceited them.
Birth of any individual itself should be a happy and joyous feeling, irrespective of whether it is a boy or girl. But, I don’t think, the depth of our society is ready for it.
Hadiya,” Tumhaari bhabhi ko ladka honewaala hai” informed mother.
How do you know, it’s a boy?, asked Hadiya.
I don’t know if it is a boy, but that is how people say, while breaking the news of a woman who is expecting, answered mother.
But, why do people say so? Why do they never say that”so and so, ko beti honewaali hai” questioned Hadiya.
That is because, people wish to have sons only, as it brings pride and auspiciousness to the family and gives them hope of continuing the lineage, mother replied.
If people will only have sons, who will incubate the lineage? She thought.
“Conception is not an idea a man can gestate, let alone giving birth to a kid. And if people only want sons, why am I a daughter? Did my parents also wanted to have another son? Thinking deeply, she questioned what is wrong with having a daughter?
There is nothing wrong in having daughter. If they are born, they should be cared for, mother replied.
Does that imply, wishing for a daughter is wrong? Hadiya confusingly asks.
No one wishes for a daugh………., mother fell short of completing the sentence, and left saying, she has a lot of work to do.
And that is how, the world comes crashing down. The identity of human can be challenged in a moment. Their very existence can be questioned, without even realizing the after effects. They say everything can be repaired, are broken heart, also reparable? And about lost identity, can they be retrieved?
Who am i? What am I? How good or bad I can be? Did it all just got reduced to my sexual identity? My subjectivity is lost in the world of beliefs, where everything is gender- based and, gender identity is dominant over the idea, on which the mankind rests. Hadiya was baffled battling all these questions.
5 years later
Mother, “mujhe beti honewaali hai”, said Hadiya.
Did you get tested? Asked mother, while sister-in-law looked amazed.
Tested? What do you mean?she questioned.
“Sex detection of foetus”, did you go for it? mother shockingly asks.
Yes! She replied,and left the place in utter disappointment.
Ahh!!! Now I understand the question in their eyes.
I WAS GESTATING A DAUGHTER, BUT GAVE BIRTH TO A SON.
If only, the same sensibility were visible at the time, my being was vandalised and brutally ripped.
Had I seen that concern for the spoken word, never would the idea of spreading the news of conceiving a daughter would have occurred to me.
Such is the power of patriarchy, that leave alone bearing a girl child, people are wary of incubating this idea in their mind also.
Birth of a girl is like a question in a competition, which is considered as being out of syllabus. Here, our myopic view as society, resist it’s growth and highlights the regression, despite claiming to be modern and technical.
This needs to change, people need to be educated in a way, that no one is born a boy or girl, but only as a human. A human who is a social being, and lives to spread the idea of humanity, contributing to an improved life, so that no Hadiya is disheartened.
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