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All I had was hope

By |2020-02-19T11:05:07+00:00February 19th, 2020|Inspiring Story, Uncategorized|

People who walk in darkness
Will see a great Light;
Those who live in the dark land,
The Light will shine on them

Now I believe in it as all those sufferings now makes sense .

After whole two years of dealing on my own, that was the day I thought that it’s the end ,that I can’t hold up everything anymore . But I m glad that I took the right decision and told my mom about my mental health .
And now I really think that how much I was wrong to think that she wont understand .
A helping hand was always there for me, it was just me who wasn’t able to see that. I still remember when my mother asked with teary eyes that when did such distance come between us that I couldn’t tell my problems to her? She was hurt, hurt for me that I suffered so much.
I tried so hard to overcome my depression and other mental issues on my own but those two years were just a waste. Those sleepless nights and those panic attacks were worst ,it seemed like the end but it wasn’t .
I used to curse everyone for not understanding what I feel but was I right to think this? Of course not because I never ever let them know about it . And that’s what we do we make things in our mind in our own and don’t talk about it .
I used to be a bright student and then a failure too ,from receiving praises to being scolded by teachers and parents… …..somewhere I had lost myself. There were moments I wanted to scream but it was hard to even speak a word . There were times when I was numb and then there were times when there were flurry of emotions . It was all messed up, my mind was messed up. Basically I became the reason of my elders tension . But it wasn’t my fault . The main problem is that a person suffering from a mental disorder can’t make out what’s happening with him or her until it really starts controlling his or her functioning. It took me few months to realize that I no longer felt happy ….I no longer enjoyed things, all I used to do was laying on my bed with my numb mind and used to feel tired without doing anything . There were so many negative thoughts that I have encountered but each time there was a hope of getting everything like before that was pulling me backward from taking a wrong step. I needed help and there’s nothing bad in it. And now I m doing great as I got treatment and in actual I m discovering myself now ,before I didn’t even know who I was . And now life seems meaningful and beautiful than ever .This is the thing I want to say that no matter what’s going in your life….. ..when it feels the end …….there is a beautiful beginning waiting for you so never ever give up on yourself and be open about your mental health . It’s not a sign of weakness . It’s not your duty to hold up everything . You should be your first priority .It’s only you who can make your life beautiful by just taking care of yourself .
Life is beautiful .

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