//I Am Beautiful

I Am Beautiful

By |2020-02-20T11:49:05+00:00February 20th, 2020|Inspiring Story|

I was born with a beautiful face; life was good and at peace until acne came. I was in third grade from where acne became an everyday thing to bear it and face it. I was diagnosed with cystic acne. My face was going in all sorts of distortions. I was teased, became pity in their view, and a joke to be laughed upon. Mirror became my nightmare. Sometimes my face got swelled up or there were water filled blisters, painful bumps. Facial description became hard to explain. My school time became hard to live with it. I became an object to be gazed upon with senseless curiosity and sympathy. I was under a constant surveillance of questions of how and why, which included a few of my school teachers.

Remarks like ‘pimple factory’, ‘mosquito bitten’ became common. I was frustrated, annoyed and punished myself and cursed God – Why me? So, my parents embarked on the mission to treat my acne. Every weekend was spent in clinics and hospitals.  I had gone through all; from allopathy, to naturopathy, to homeopathy. It was all pain but no gain. My whole body went into torture mode. It was hard to keep with big pills of azithromycin, gulping down salts of unknown origin every single day. My face would burn with creams and ointments, had severe dryness and I grew pale. Dairy products were cutoff for one year. Life got rid of sunlight. But worse was yet to come. I was diagnosed with PCOD (but with a question) in eighth grade. Till date, my diagnosis has never been a full proof. Nevertheless, I was put on hormonal pills for one year in my tenth grade which worsened my health. I had started vomiting, complained of stomach aches, felt dizzy all the time. I didn’t feel myself anymore. I was empty and almost felt dead already.

My parents were still in search to find best treatment for my skin but I was so tired of all of this. My body had given up. Somehow I stopped the medication and I never went back to allopathy. Whenever I looked into the mirror, thoughts flooded in and said I wish I could rip off all the dirty acne that sat on my face. I was filled with anger, frustration, and sadness.

In my last two years of school, I managed to pick myself up from the bottom, and started ignoring the societal expectations and thoughts and advices that people would give. I started having all sorts of food, improved my thinking and started exercising. I got a better homeopathy. My face is now more beautiful with all marks, spots as my imperfections.

From teenage to entering into adulthood, I realized that loving yourself and feeling comfortable in the way you are is the best thing to do. Accepting yourself and being honest with self is being at peace and in contentment. Acne taught me the concept of self love, to be proud and to feel good about yourself. It came as an experience just as other things, faced it and embraced it. I normalized acne.

 

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About the Author:

Poet who is brimming with kindness and talks to clouds. A science student who loves poetry and storytelling way more than science.

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