“So this is your last working day in office. Now you will have all the time in the world for your child. Enjoy your motherhood”, said my Manager as I was quitting my job from an MNC to look after my daughter. I was super excited and thrilled to step into the world of nurturing a life. The sleepless nights, the bodyaches, the dark circles and the stretch marks made me realize that I am now a Mom. I was in a fantasy world where I could only see the smiling face of my daughter, feed her, comfort her and play with her. I was overwhelmed when she took her first step. My eyes could not stop the tears that were flowing freely. Time flies and it was her first Birthday -The Day when she first called me Mamma. The moment she said Mamma, I left all my work, held her in my arms and left my lipstick marks all over her face.
She was growing but I was that over-protective parent who just gave nothing else than pure love and comfort. She reciprocated in the same way. She could not stay without me anytime anywhere. She talked in her own language with me and I don’t know when she started making correct sentences and was able to express herself well. It was time for her to go to school.
It was her first day in school. I was so nervous. How will she manage without me? Will she adjust there? Will she cry her heart out if she doesn’t find me? These were some of the questions that I had in my mind on the way. But to my surprise, this girl was so full of energy and enthusiasm on the mere sight of school. She was going inside the school waving Bye. I was standing numb and tears were rolling down. I waited for sometime just to ensure she is comfortable. I even peeped in her classroom and Yes she had already adjusted. She was happy with her peers and playing with new toys. For next few days, I dropped and picked her up from school. Her teachers said, “She is such a darling child who loves to come to school.” All my fears had vanished.
A phase came in my life that almost took me to depression. There were unannounced frequent guests at our place who thought that I am free most of the time. They made me realize the duty of a homemaker to serve others. I came out of my wonderland and worked harder to keep others happy so that they do not have complaints against me. In turn, I became very hard on me. I had set goals for myself over and above my capabilities to prove myself. This resulted in ignoring my husband and daughter who should have been my primary focus. After 2 years of this life, I was devastated as I was not getting any time for myself nor appreciation for my work rather my family did not like my behaviour. I was stressed. I wanted to die as I could not find a purpose of my life. During this phase, my husband supported me unconditionally and made me realize that stress is nothing but the gap between the expectation and the reality. For me, its my second life that my husband gave me. I learnt painting, played Tennis and made so many good friends in my neighbourhood. We together have started an All-Ladies potluck group. We have potluck once a week wherein all of us prepare different dishes and have a party. We take privelege to share our problems, find solutions to them and together we learn. All of us wait for this day and it rejuvenates us. We also help our community by planting trees, saving water, helping the needy and also teaching the same to our children. This has taught me the essence of life – Stay Happy.
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